If you read, you'll judge. [entries|friends|calendar] arisefairmoon [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Endless Tides and Seas of Oceans [02 Jul 2009|09:33pm] [ mood | exhausted ] [ music | Death Cab for Cutie ]  I'm just wondering if anyone really stops and smells the roses of this journal or if their eyes walk hurriedly by. Do you only read the journal in part because of the italics or bold and skip the rest or do you just read for something you can use to sound profound in your own little corner of your world? Do you sit and read in wonder and fight, think, and reread in your mind about what this could all really be about? Today: Different day, same thing. Except for my dear friend having to spill the haunting contents of his heart to strange people in a building in the woods. Which is really peculiar and eerie. Having a building so far from civilization. That is the most eerie part. Other than that, it is a normal homey like building. If you passed it in the publicness of life you would never give it a second thought. Even though he didn't want me to be there - to see his weakness - I'm glad that I could be there, though. I find it sad that most of his friends have turned their heads in light of the situation. What is even more sad is if any of them had gone through even an inkling of what he went through and needed him, he would be there in a heartbeat. Just. like. this. Other than that life seems to proceed on with or without me. Whether I want it to or not. I'm also hopelessly in love with a boy that is 946.80 miles away from me. It is the most strangest feeling to talk with someone for the first time and feel like you have been doing so for years and years. My heart is a flutter now just thinking of him. I'm just utterly nervous. As anyone would be that far away from someone that has never been a breaths inch away. I want to trust him whole hearted-ly. But an infidelity of the past in my love life and being too trusting has taught me to keep an inch between everyone I meet nowadays.   I just want to hold and be held. Until he is here I'll be wishing and wondering. cmnt

You Can Keep Your Black Tongue [24 Jun 2009|02:43am] [ mood | anxious ] You may or may not read this. Love is hard. Distance is hard. Sleep doesn't come easy anymore. I hope you'll read this and understand. I want to feel your arms around me. I want to sink into your skin and feel what you are feeling. Something tangible in my hands. I would ask for your heart but that is literally impossible. You need it but I feel like I need it more. So much more. Say you won't go. Say that you love me one more time. P.S. - I'm just a figment of your imagination. cmnt

ATTENTION all people with BODY MODS. [05 May 2008|07:11am] [ mood | hopeful ] It would greatly be appreciated if you would reply with a photo of your tattoos. (Appropriate please) Your name, the artist who did the tattoo, and the story behind it, what it means to you. It would greatly be appreciated. I'm doing a project for finals on tattoo and symbolism in relation to religion, ethnic groups, genders, gangs, and tribes. cmnt

This has nothing to do with the title. [25 Feb 2008|01:19pm] [ mood | sore ] Do you remember when we were just kids. All we expected was another warm day so we could play with our friends. When all we really cared about was sledding. I see kids now and see them carefree. But I know they are going to end up like us. Someday they'll kiss someone. Someday sledding won't be enough. They are going to end up like: sluts, rapists, pedophiles, power hungry politicians, harlots, underage mothers, broken-hearted teens, stoners, dead, mentally unstable, loved, unloved, loners, outsiders, and more. All I can think of is how childhood is tainted now. How youth is somehow squandered away. How young girls are fed what beauty is, but not really what it should be. How no matter how hard we try, more and more are dying at the hands of others and drugs. And is this how we want to be remembered, we're all just falling apart when we think we are putting each other back together. cmnt

This is to you, Cody. [14 Feb 2008|01:47pm] Dear Cody, You were wrong. You are JUST like every other guy. I hope you take pride in that, because guess what? Unless you have a vagina then you're definitely like the masses. Also, I've met you-A hundred times before. I bet I'll keep meeting you again and again. You're right you're not like anyone else you're just like EVERYONE else. I hope your girlfriend that you supposedly love leaves you like you left her and for good this time. Because if she doesn't she is a fool, boy. Just like I was being strung a long like a beautiful love song. cmnt

Writer's Block: A Favorite Poem [14 Feb 2008|01:29pm] One of my favorite poems would have to be by Edgar Allen Poe. A Dream Within a Dream Take this kiss upon the brow! And, in parting from you now, Thus much let me avow- You are not wrong, who deem That my days have been a dream; Yet if hope has flown away In a night, or in a day, In a vision, or in none, Is it therefore the less gone? All that we see or seem Is but a dream within a dream. I stand amid the roar Of a surf-tormented shore, And I hold within my hand Grains of the golden sand- How few! yet how they creep Through my fingers to the deep, While I weep- while I weep! O God! can I not grasp Them with a tighter clasp? O God! can I not save One from the pitiless wave? Is all that we see or seem But a dream within a dream? cmnt

FUCK Valentines Day. [14 Feb 2008|01:03pm] [ music | Belle & Sebastian ] I don't want to see your face today. I promise I'll be okay. I don't want to see your emotionless eyes brimming over with apathy. Yeah, I know that there is no one left here to blame. I know that you are to blame, I am to blame. Why can't I detach myself from something that was never beating. Something that was never mine. I hope every candy gram that every little boy and girl gets today is rotten. I hope they will eat them. In disgust when they grow up, hate the memory of Valentine's Day. Why am I so bitter? It is simple: Guys like you have left me this way. Guys like you are never here to stay. Guys like you fuck around. Then, guys like you get the hell out of town. So remember: "They say all the boys are monsters All the girls are whores So when you lose the one you love There's always plenty more They may be in a club All dressed up waiting to meet you Or in some garret bleak Despairing over what to do All the girls are monsters All the boys are whores So when you lose the one you love There's always plenty more." cmnt

Don’t Read This Don’t Read This Don’t Read This Don’t Read This Don’t Read This Don’t Read This [13 Feb 2008|04:55pm] [ mood | lonely ] [ music | Adia ] I can still feel you I can still feel you I can still feel you I can still feel you I can still feel you I can still feel you I can still feel you We could have made it with a couple of deep breaths. I can still feel your lips. On mine. Your fingertips. Trailing along my skin. I still can hear you breathing. It is making me go insane. The silence is driving me... You must be thinking of me too. You must still feel me. My scent still on your clothes. My taste,  I feel you, but you're not really there. I pick up the phone but all I hear is just the dial tone. I swear I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm alright. It's everyone else who is falling apart. Those spaces in between your fingers, they were meant for mine.  Your taste is my attention. Your taste is my attention. Oh, swear you'll be mine again. cmnt

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